Teen parents are sick and wrong, and not in the “they should burn in hell” kind of way, but just if there is a hell, I wouldn’t particularly mind if they stayed there indefinitely so that I wouldn’t have to deal with them any more. Too harsh? Certainly not.
For the past 3 months I’ve been torturing myself by monitoring the Facebook activity of two teenagers who seem to think that pregnancy is the new black. One larger girl from Perth “Z” who leads a promiscuous city night-life, and one scrawny lass from Dubbo “K” who doesn’t presently live in a trailer, but probably wouldn’t turn one down if you had a spare. Both of these girls are living at home with parents, and neither have a steady partner. Neither know each other, in fact the only other thing they have in common is the apparent ability to piss me right off.
Because both have decided to skip the pill around the same time, we have a scientific experiment within a fairly controlled environment (Facebook)… Between these two, we should be able to determine exactly who is: The Shittest Human Ever.
Take a minute to see exactly what I’m talking about.
SPOILER WARNING. READ THE ABOVE LINK FIRST (It will open in a new window):
Right! Let’s crunch numbers! The below are estimates, some may overlap. I’ve recorded mostly updates that would most likely be to brag about being knocked up.
TOTAL (Not counted toward the final score):
Z: 50 Statuses
K: 45 Statuses
FOOD:
Z: 18 Updates
K: 20 Updates
MENTIONS OF “DOCTORS/ULTRASOUNDS”:
Z: 8
K: 8
REMINDERS OF DUE DATE:
Z: 4
K: 6
MENTION OF ALCOHOL/CIGARETTES/PARTIES/CLUBS:
Z: 4
K: 6
PARTICULARLY IRRITATING IMAGE UPLOADS:
Z: 6
K: 24
SPECIAL AWARDS FOR SHITNESS:
+1 for Z: For that little comment about The Beatles vs Glee.
+1 for Z: For multiple abortions in the past, but keeping this one for fun.
+1 for Z: For that “Pregnant and Perfect” t-shirt that screams “I’m pregnant. Kick me down stairs.”
+1 for K: For having twins. Automatically twice as bad.
+1 for K: For being the younger of the two subjects. Well done you!
+1 for K: For announcing the pregnancy in a slightly more terrible way.
+2 for K: For that God-awful Facebook Banner AND Profile Picture.
THE RESULTS!
This is only the first 3 months of each pregnancy, I couldn’t stand the thought of reviewing the results after 9 months… I would have killed myself. At first, I thought things were so, so close. But how wrong I was. Thanks to mathematics, and science we’re quite easily able to determine who The Shittest Person is.
Z: 43 Shitpoints
K: 69 Shitpoints
CONGRATULATIONS!
“K”
You’re The Shittest Person Ever – for now. Take a hint from your score (69) the next time you’re out of pills, condoms, or sandwich bags. Better yet, just take the stairs and have a nice trip. Sorry “Z“, better luck next time.
How can you make something up like this,
you don’t no the circumstances of these girls & certainly have no right to judge them!
Not everyone plans to fall pregnant, uncluding middle aged women but when they find out they adapt to it & try their hardest with what they have to get through it…
Why don’t you make a site about how men get women pregnant & run coz they are low life scums, or how they spike drinks just to get a root or how they rape girls & they get pregnant that way?
So you really have no idea how these girls fell pregnant & if you don’t like ‘teen pregnancy’ then why don’t you do something better about it by giving out information on contraception & why you should wait a little longer to have a baby so it’s for all the right reasons??
all i can do is laugh at how ridiculous you are. you stalk people, judge them when really you are in the wrong. i dont care for what you say about these girls. each to their own, but if u judge be prepared to be judged
OMFG are u kidding me??? i am in fukin SHOCK over this BULSHIT!!! if u don’t like seeing their walls why do u have them on facebook.. and do u have the right to say or judge these girls. Your speculation is a bunch of bullshit. You sure need to be knocked down a peg or two. In my opinion you scored 100 percent on being the shittest person in the world. Imagine you got some girl pregnant. what would u do.. run away like a little coward.. what gives u the write to post this about these girls. And I’m quite sure that they could sue you for something like this. That or get u severely beaten to within an inch of your life.. which sounds better?? maybe both??? You have no idea how these girls feel.. about being pregnant. Their hormones are out of wack.. I am sure that everyone has made mistakes in their life. including you. And you basically just told K that she should trip down the stairs and hurt herself. I would take that as a threat if i were her.. directly from you. How old are you like 15 because you sure are not very mature and you make quite the assumptions about them as if you were them. There condoms could have broke?? you never know… YOUR NOT THEM.. so grow the fuck up and stay outta people business.. Is your life so bad that you have to diss other people to feel better.. Try being pregnant and see how u feel..I hope you get what u should get from this.. A severe beating or a court case.. or both.
have a nice day SHITTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!!
LOL you must have been bored.
I wish my babies were yours. Hahah jk, it’s weird how people don’t seem to get that it doesn’t count as stalking when your friends just bug the crap out of you on Facebook.
OHNO! Watch out! I’m stalking everyone in my news feed. Hahaha. Whatevs.
Anyway, you will NOT be looking at my Facebook Wall any more. Meanie! But I guess that’s kinda what you were hoping for. Grr!
~K.
I wonder if your AIDS babies will come out with your herpes too?
Adrian Few tips for you buddy,
1, When stalking young girls, might be a good idea to loose the peado beard,
2, When making BLOGS about stalking, use a fucking PROXY! and don’t sign up to blogging site with your Real IP & Details
3, Get a decent firewall – (pretty self explanatory)
4, Anti Virus very highly recommended
5, don’t open the door Bro, your address phone number and pics just got leaked,
Lets hope “Z” and “K” Don’t have family in new south wales
My phone number is publicly available on all of my super-public profiles, it’s available everywhere. Hiding behind proxies is stupid. You are stupid.
including the pictures of you dressed like a woman
short black skirt, leopard print top black handbag ETC?
Guessing by your lack of computer protection i’m not the “STUPID” i mean seriously atleast get AVG its free
nice desktop wallpaper btw, very manly
That picture is also super-public, and totally hot by the way. Now who’s stalking, hmmm? =P
Hehe! Where’s my trophy?
I guess I can see the lighter side of all this. I understand that you don’t hate pregnancy, you just hate how teenagers act. There’s alot of stuff my friends on Facebook do that bugs me too, but I don’t have the guts to tell it to them. I guess I can’t talk. Iol
Sorry for being so irritating! :S I’ll try to talk about something else for a change!
All the best in life,
K.
LOL a lot of people seem annoyed at this blog. Take a joke people! Geeze.
Thanks person who clearly hasn’t been moderated by me!
I appreciate your understanding.
Regards,
Snrub.
not as super-public as your system
Just out of interest why did you google “how to stop a hacker” <— had to giggle when i saw that in the log,
Yeah i'm a super-public stalker when it comes to freaks such as yourself
and so for
← I don’t normally “troll” but…
Here 3 guesses as to why your pissed off at pregnant teens!
1, there getting more sex than will will ever get – Judging from your photos not even your own hand will touch you
2, your mom was a teen crack whore who got raped by a yeti and your the result
3, Both of the above,
now i'm sure both myself and everyone else who reads this will vote on 3
Well id love to stay and chat but i've got another 200 gig worth of your HDD to filter threw
Correction: you have over nine terabytes of my HDD to get through. You’re like a bad psychic giving a “cold reading”, but you’re far too off-the-mark to raise any concern.
The next time you pretend to “hack” someone, try to give more accurate information from somewhere other than a public website or word-of-mouth.
PS: Browsing 4chan does not make you a hacker. It makes you a moron.
Dear Zebba,
BIG difference between 250 and 9000 , for someone who claims to be good with words you sure do suck with numbers,
and whilst were on the subject of words, look up the meaning of the work “hack” before using it loosely… it makes you look like a bigger idiot than you already are…
Not to mention the fact you don’t have the mental capacity to fill a 250 gig HDD let alone over 9000
i must admit you are rather amusing and also rather sad,
PS: i left you a nice little .txt file in your Documents, That ones on the house enjoy =]
Ged Walker (and Danny?) aren’t particularly bright. Do your parents Gwyn and Andre know how lame you are?
Someone who leaves their router config (:4567) accessible from the internet is in no position to be lecturing people on security.
are you serious, what gives you the right to judge people like this ? lol you seriously have no life probably no friends and if you do actually have friends are you sure they are being true to you… there is such thing as social pregnancy write about that i know a couple of people like this in the melbourne rave scene but i am not the kinda of wanka to write about such a thing…….. write something about your life for us to judge? maybe you were born a bastard or maybe you were a mistake or say your parents were 2 gay men who adopted some poor pathetic soul who noone wanted….
mate i seen your fb profile lol did your mother smoke alot of drugs before during and after popping you out ? religious views christian my ass buddy …… no christian talks about another human being in this way let alone posts it publically online… you do know your going to hell for not loving thi neighbour ? lol …… your views on life like every religious douche bag are so fucking twisted. i wouldn’t blame anyone who knows these girls to search you out and kick your ass for writing such rubbish!
AAAAHAHAHAH! Dude this blog is amazing, keep up the good work. I hope all pregnant women aren’t this annoying… Maybe they’ll be less annoying after reading this!
Peace.
dude,
i was tempted to start this email thinking i was mad at you but I’m far to impressed with your dedication.
I haven’t seen the subject in question for several years but assuming she’s still the same sour faced female I hadn’t see day in and day out at school, good job for pointing out her inadequacies. I often get the feeling that I should be stealing children born to people like this.
So from me and my friends, thanks man.
I’m reading all of these comments and my brain is exploding. Is Dubbo some sort of backwards hick town ?
I love how the “hackers” think their awesome because they’ve invaded your “privacy”. When really, if they really knew you, they’d know how much you really don’t give a fuck. I personally don’t understand it, but Whatever… You’re the most public person I’ve ever met. Very strange….
Now, I might be missing something here, but… Please point out to me where you’ve called either one of these people a “slut”. I can see where you’ve pointed out that their facebook updates are really annoying and that they’re probably a bit careless with they way they live and this type of lifestyle may not make a suitable mother… but … SLUT?… Someone point it out to me please! I will then stand corrected and apologise… Maybe.
Actually, you didn’t really “say” much at all….
Stalking ? Haaaaaaaaahhhhahhahahahahahhhaha.. What’s facebook for again? How does it work? Oh yeah! People post shit on it, then it shows up in a News Feed and the people that they’re FRIENDS with can read it… I mean, if you were never facebook friends with these chicks, then yeah, big fucking freaky stalker! But, it just doesn’t make sense to call you a stalker in this instance.
Threatening you with physical violence for sharing a few status updates and your views on them ? Yeah, you’re definitely the worst fucking person alive! Die cunt, die! HAhahah.
I truly believe these people are a few baskets short of a picnic…
Anyways Fatty,
Time for me to fuck off now.
<3
I’m really impressed with “the real K”‘s initial responses. It beats what she said via FB.
But maybe like her pa said, she was crying herself to sleep at night or something, in reality.
IN REALITY… I have a cunting cramp in my foot man. I’d post ten thousand status updates about it, but unlike you and all the people you’ve listed in the aforementioned blog, I AM NOT A BIG WHINGING VAGINA and thus- DO NOT HAVE FACEBOOK.
Seriously… this cramp is fucked.. it’s crippling my foot. OH MY GOD, watch out, I’m about to fall on your penis from lack of balance, and get pregnant. OOPS, too late- someone push me down the stairs and have at me with crowbars. =|
I may or may not have abused my privileges as owner of this blog and moderated the shit out of some of the comments here.
And by ‘may not have’, I mean ‘may have’. >_>
Though I admit to nothing!
Hey you shit cunt just so you know I had my kids and they are perfect in everyway healthy little 6lb kids so no they won’t be dead anytime soon and no they will not be going anywhere I’m a great mother . . . So just because you have mummy issuse doesn’t mean you can take it out on others
They lived? Pity. Also, way to not give me the power.
yes they fucking did coz im not like your sister i dont have kids just to kill them
Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha.
I forget that you all sort of know each other. Ces gens des petites villes offenser mes sensibilités.
C’est dommage que vos bébés ne sont pas morts. Pour sûrement, Jésus a pleuré quand ils sont nés.